A Funeral Lunch arranged by the Sweet Day Event Planning Company of Moscow. Photo by Sweet Day.

Russian MiniLesson: Funeral Lunches and Related Russian Vocabulary

Published: February 1, 2019

The following was written by Caroline Barrow, a former SRAS Home and Abroad Scholar now working in Kazakhstan. Through an acquaintance there, she was invited to a traditional Russian funeral lunch โ€“ and shares her experience here.

Each culture has its own way of honoring those who have left this world. Russians do this in their on unique way. In addition to a funeral, family and friends gather for several ะŸะพะผะธะฝะฐะปัŒะฝั‹ะต ะพะฑะตะดั‹, โ€œFuneral Lunchesโ€ throughout the year after someoneโ€™s passing. There are four of these lunches on specific daysโ€”9 days, 40 days, 6 months, and one year after the passing. I had the privilege of being invited to one of these lunches, honoring a woman named Svetlana.

We met for our lunch at the ัั‚ะพะปะพะฒะฐั (cafeteria) in the factory where Svetlana worked. When we sat at the table, it seemed to be full already. There were ัะฒะตะถะธะต ะฟะพะผะธะดะพั€ะธ ะธ ะพะณัƒั€ั†ั‹ (fresh tomatoes and cucumbers), ะบะพะปะฑะฐัะบะฐ ะธ ัั‹ั€(sausage and cheese), ั…ะปะตะฑ (bread), ะฑะปะธะฝั‹ (Russian pancakes), ะบะพะฝั„ะตั‚ั‹ (candy), and ะฟะตั‡ะตะฝะธั (cookies). For drinks, there was ะบะพะผะฟะพั‚ (stewed fruit juice), vodka for the men, and cognac for the ladies.

Interestingly, I noticed that there were no ะฒะธะปะบะธ (forks) on the table, only ะปะพะถะบะธ (spoons). This is so that there is nothing sharp on the table. The first thing we ate was three spoonfuls of a tasty dish: ะบัƒั‚ัŒั, a sweet sticky rice with raisins. ะšัƒั‚ัŒั is that is typically found only at religious observances. It is also traditionally associated withย Christmas and Easter.

Officially, the Orthodox Church disallows alcohol at ะฟะพะผะธะฝะฐะปัŒะฝั‹ะต ะพะฑะตะดั‹. In practice, however, alcohol often plays a prominent role in the traditions common to these lunches. Before the waitresses brought us the ะฟะตั€ะฒะฐั ะฑะปัŽะดะฐ (first course), we took a shot in honor of Svetlana. Before we drank, we said โ€œะฆะฐั€ัั‚ะฒะพ ะะตะฑะตัะพะต.โ€ Literally translated, this means โ€œKingdom of Heaven,โ€ but the meaning in this usage is closer to โ€œRest in Peace.โ€ In honor of Svetlana, a ั€ัŽะผะบะฐ ะฒะพะดะบะธ (glass of vodka) stood on the table throughout the lunch.

After that, the ะฟะตั€ะฒะฐั ะฑะปัŽะดะฐ arrivedโ€”a healthy serving of ะฑะพั€ั‰ (borsch). Following that was the ะฒั‚ะพั€ะฐั ะฑะปัŽะดะฐ (main course) which was ะบะพั‚ะปะตั‚ั‹ ั ะบะฐั€ั‚ะพัˆะบะฐะผะธ (pork cutlet with potatoes). The last thing they brought us to eat was ะบะฐัˆะฐ(porridge). This is traditionally eaten last at these lunches.

This tradition is a lovely way for friends and family to gather and remember whom they have lost. In doing so, they support one another and grow closer together.ย  To find out more about Russian funeral traditions, click here.

About the author

Caroline Barrow

Caroline Barrow is a graduate of Texas A&M University with a degree in International Studies and Russian. She loves traveling and hearing people's stories. Out of the places she's been able to visit, her favorite was Kiev, Ukraine for its beauty, history, and friendly people. She received a Fulbright English Teaching Assistantship and will spend the next year teaching English in Kostanay, Kazakhstan. Additionally, she has been named SRAS's Home and Abroad Translation Scholar for the 2013-2014 cycle.

Program attended: Home and Abroad Scholar

View all posts by: Caroline Barrow